I want to act the same and be the same whether some one is looking or not. I want my thoughts and inward me to be the same  whether some one knows them or not. I don't want to be a fake or a phony. Yet I know I wont always be exactly the same because God is working in me and on me daily.

Inside Out

Lord help me learn and grow in You.

Teach my heart to be faithful and true.

Cause my life to be an outward reflection of what is happening inwardly.

That everyone may rejoice when they see the work Your doing in me.

Help me Lord not to hide because of fear of shame, hurt or sorrow.

Fill me and use me today and tomorrow.

Help me to be trust worthy, reliable, and true.

Lord please make me more like You.

Life

When I was a kid I loved life magazine. I loved looking at all the pictures in it. The pictures that I liked were the candid shots of people, they seemed to catch them unawares. It allowed you to see people as they really were. Especially  some of the shots of celebrities when they were sad or tired or pensive. I am not a celebrity but I am a Christian and I never know who is watching me. One thing I do know is that however they see me at any given moment is how I am when no one is around. Also the things I say and believe in front of them is the same when no one is around. I use to put on false faces and bend and mold myself to be whatever pleased who ever I was around. I did it because I wanted to be loved and accepted. I am no longer like that because I want to be like Jesus and He wasn't like that. Also because I want people to know who I am and where I stand on things. When ever some one finds this is not so about me it is because I am working through that particular area of my life. I want to be trust worthy and dependable, a good friend and a help. This is something that must be earned. I find it easy to live and act the same way in front of people as I do when I am alone. The part I find hard is when it comes to thoughts about issues and beliefs about things. I don't mean my belief about Jesus or any of that. I mean beliefs about wrong and wrong when Christians are fighting among themselves and I can see that both sides have some right and some wrong. What should I do? What can or should I say? These are things I have to work through prayerfully with God. Or things like what is my thoughts on forgiveness when I see Christians who say, "I forgive the people who wrong me, but I can no longer be associated with them because there is to much hurt."  I have to work through this prayerfully with God too. Especially when I am involved with both sets of people. I love them both and don't know what to say or do for either side to help them. There are lots of other areas in life that I will have to work through like these. I know that in the midst of working through these times I am still able to be myself because I refuse to put on a false face even while working through things. I will continue to love people, obey God as best I can, be myself, and seek God's guidance. You can always get a candid shot of some one's outward appearance but only God really sees the inward candid shot. That inward shot is the one that concerns me the most. Outward shots can fade and be lost destroyed and stolen. Inward shots are known and see by God and my conscience forever. I want my inside to match my outside all the time. People and I may not always agree with it or like what they see, but they can count on it being real. Hopefully it will glorify God and through it people will see His handiwork going on right before their eyes.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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